Well, I’m back. Two weeks ago I returned from the land of big dreams, big skies, and even bigger portions.
When I got home it rained for seven days.
As I fall ever deeper into the whirlpool of post-holiday despair, I am writing in the hope that tales of white chocolate will be the armbands that keep me afloat.
Dramatic, moi?
Firstly I must admit that when surrounded by oozing Gushers, crunchy Flipz and tangy Babyback Rib-flavoured crisps, I found myself unable to prioritise white chocolate. It would have been illogical. However, I did make one discovery that blew my flipflops off (I wasn’t wearing socks in the tropical heat, you understand). Readers, I introduce…
As the image suggests, they’re the size and shape of Minstrels, but without the crispy shell - instead, they have an almost waxy seal. I fear my description is not doing the marvel justice, for when is “waxy” ever an appealing epithet? Take my word for it, the texture was wondrous, futuristic somehow. You know how unutterably satisfying it is when you bite into two chocolate buttons stuck together? It's kind of like that but, erm, waxy.
With a bag (or three) of goodies to get through, I am yet to open the 6-pack of white KitKats that stood solitary on a Walmart shelf, but I will of course let you know how they compare to Europe’s various versions.
Speaking of which, I have a final wafer-based yarn.
Before embarking upon Expedition Glutton, we paid a brief visit to the Milky Bar Kid’s family oop north. I opened the bedroom door to discover on my pillow a White KitKat Chunky that was, well, mangled to hell. Beside it lay a hand-written note from MBK’s little sister apologising for the malformed treat, explaining that the flight back from Cyprus clearly was not an ideal environment for meltable goods.
I can tell you now that apologies were entirely unnecessary. The varying thickness in chocolate was a revelation. Familiar intermingled with alien, corners where there once were no corners, this KitKat was the best I have ever eaten. Surely there’s a life lesson in there?
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